Well, where to begin? Who knows! From the beginning would take too long so to cut a very long, exciting, thrilling, frustrating, loving and ultimately sad and heartbreaking story short – I am no longer part of a ‘we’. I have to learn how to be a Me, Myself and I. If anyone can help me with that I would be grateful but I know it’s a path I have to take on my own.
After being married for 30 years (married at 18 and still technically married but separated) and heading straight into another relationship (that was the catalyst to the marriage ending) that lasted 3.5 years I have to ‘man’ up and be Me.
It was a great Adventure while it lasted. I was shown what was out there to be seen and done and believe me I will not stop there. I was woken up and then cut loose. Needless to say I didn’t want to be cut loose. When you make plans together for the future and invest your time and love into that you kind of expect it to happen, but you live and learn. Big time in my case.
I have no plans to be a ‘we’ again for a long time, if at all, but then I wasn’t looking for that relationship either so who knows what the future holds. That particular ‘we’ is still being missed in a way that I have never experienced before nor do I want to again.
Coming through it all (although still processing it, apparently it takes 3 months!) I have realised that I absolutely want to travel, see new places, learn new things and have new and exciting experiences. The thought of staying in one place just fills me with dread. Of course I have my beautiful boys who although are now adults (21 and 20) still need me around, but I hope to show them that life is there for the taking and the World is there to be explored (although for now, lets just say the UK – I’ll take the World on at a later date!). Time is growing more precious by the day and in the words of Pitbull “Every day above ground is a good day – remember that”.
So I guess onwards and upwards is the only way to go. Forwards, sideways, no doubt occasionally backwards a couple of steps as well but then they are necessary sometimes in order to find the right path forwards don’t you think?
I am going to endeavour to find things, activities and places that I like. Places, people and experiences that make Me feel alive. You see, I’ve never done much just for me. I need to learn to listen to myself, If I don’t want to do it I won’t. If there is a place I really want to go to , I am going to do my best to get there.
So I hope you will join me on My New Journey of Discoveries and Experiences.
I am still a Swimming Goat (who knows, maybe I will still dip – it was very enjoyable after all, but I won’t feel as safe as I did when I was a ‘We’), but mainly just swimming through life and all the things that go with it. I’m hoping for more ups than downs of course but life is what we make it – you get back what you give – who knows what fate has in store or where my life path will take me – lets see…….